Monday, May 11, 2009

Day 3 Cold Turkey Treatment

OMG I don't know how I survived my first day. It has only been today since I have had my head on straight enough to be able to concentrate on stringing together a few sentences in a coherent manner. The entire morning of my first day was such wild mood swings my hubby thought I was just going insane. I was anxious, and alternately swung from feeling impotent blind rage (which led to banging my head into walls like my toddlers) to soul-crushing depression, often within seconds of each other. It was simply horrible. If I had them, I certainly would have smoked them before I reached those levels of emotionalism. After working through that on Saturday morning, I have been much better. That is not to say it's been great, but after that roller coaster of emotions shrugging off the urge for a smoke is much easier than I thought. I have been chewing gum to the point my jaw muscles are getting really sore, and I have drank a lot more soda than I normally would. I think having been making rollies for the last six years has been a real help in quitting since I just do not go out and buy a pack of smokes. I had been hoping sleep would be a respite from my discomfort, but I have been sleeping very poorly. Saturday night I woke up every hour or so either too hot or too cold. Last night was a little better; I think I get stretches of an hour and a half of sleep in between my tossing and turning fits. Today is the third day, and from what I've been told is the last day of the really intense cravings as the nicotine runs out of my system. Right now my brain is fuzzy, my concentration is shot to hell and my garden is going to crap. This is really hard, but I think I'm doing pretty good. Day three, no smoking, and I'm hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel from this withdrawal misery.

Friday, May 8, 2009

My last day of smoking

Well, the day is finally here. I am down to my last 6 cigarettes. I have been making my own rollies for six years now to save money, but with the new federal tax I can't afford that anymore. I bought a fair supply at the end of March which actually lasted through April until today. I only smoke about a dozen a day now anyway so I am hoping that quitting won't be too hard. I admit that it seems more psychological than physical, but I guess I'll see. I figure that I will make my last 6 last until bedtime tonight, and when I wake up tomorrow I will be an official ex-smoker. Smoking contributed a lot to my mother's passing and my father has been bugging me to quit, along with my hubby. My dad is also an ex-smoker, but he stayed on the nicotine gum for about 4 years until he gave that up. My hubby quit cold turkey, and never looked back. I am hoping that quitting gives me a little more energy, and it should improve my lung function. I only started when I was twenty five, but that was about 15 years ago now and I sorta got used to it. I only smoke outside now anyway and the temperatures here are over 100 so going out isn't exactly nice. I have been trying to psych myself up to this point, convincing myself it is best for my health. I recently found out that smoking is a contributor to macular degeneration which I didn't know and that has been a huge help to wanting to quit. My eyesight is very important to me and I need it to be good for a long time still with my twins just turning 2 and my love of crafting and jewelry making. I have noticed in the last year or so my eyesight has worsened so that is a huge motivating factor for me. As my tobacco supply has dwindled and I have been really facing the end of smoking I have gotten a little grumpy and high-strung. I have really been thinking about it and the only thing I am really going to miss about smoking is escaping from the kids for a few minutes outside when I get a little overwrought with their behavior and getting a nicotine fix. Now I am not sure what I'll do, but I will figure something out. I figured out a while ago that making my rollies was fulfilling my urge to make stuff with my hands so a positive aspect right there is that I should start making more crafts and jewelry again. Well, I'll keep posting about my progress and problems on this, but I really need to do this. Like Yoda said, do not try, do.